Shell/Philip Morris & Giant Ciggies

[write-light.livejournal.com]

Comments

[rick-day.livejournal.com]

Just another fine way Shell contributes to the poisoning of our societies.

[herbadness.livejournal.com]

For a second, I thought the cigs were being flavored by machine oil.

[murakozi.livejournal.com]

I do like these 'educational' ads. I'm not sure that I'm learning what Shell wants me to learn though.

Things I've learned:
1) Cigarettes start out 25 or so yards long and 8 feet in diameter, weighing Heaven-knows-how-much. They are apparently reduced in size via the tobacco industry's version of Wonkavision.

2) The massive smokes are assembled and polished by bellboys and theater ushers. These young men are incredibly strong as evidenced by one of them being able to manhandle huge spools of rolling papers single-handedly.

3) Tobacco is incredibly heavy. It takes the strength of two uber-ushers to carry 6 leaves. This implies that cigarettes weigh hundreds of tons prior to being shrunk for consumption. I assume the extra mass is somehow converted to energy which is used to run pointless barrel-washing machinery.

4) Even though huge amounts of tobacco are needed to create just one mega-cigarette, it can only be dried in tiny 4 foot tall drying barns. Perhaps being so super heavy and dense, the tobacco would collapse and produce a nicotine black hole if dried in a regular sized tobacco barn.

5) It's amazing that cigarettes can be purchased by anyone other than mega-billionaires, considering that the production of a single smoke requires the whole annual harvest of one tobacco field and what would appear to be a couple acres worth of forest for the paper. Good thing filters are for sissies, otherwise there'd be a need for a ton or so of floss for that. It'd probably be made from asbestos, too.

[amiga500.livejournal.com]

I really, REALLY want to see this How It's Made.

[ejia-arath03.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm pretty sure my folks would go through one of those pretty quickly.

[talonvaki.livejournal.com]

...Wait, so cigarettes need lubrication?

[luke-russell.livejournal.com]

I was equally baffled by this ad. Cigarettes and lubrication....every sentence was a nonsequitor to the previous.

[siberian-cat.livejournal.com]

It's a Gulag camp.The buildings on the right are barracks.

The two guys are carrying dead rats on a pole.

[cheesygirl.livejournal.com]

Don't let my upstairs neighbors get a hold of these. The regular sized cigarette butts they like to toss onto my patio from their balcony are ugly enough!

[kip-w.livejournal.com]

So they're finally about ready to finish that tobacco pipeline!