Bowie, One Year Later

[misstia]

I had had an ongoing existential crisis for a few years about the eventuality of David Bowie, the artist--not his art, as that lives forever, no longer being on this plain of existence. Of all the things to have an existential crisis over, I realize it's a weird one, but I am an odd ball. That that genius wasn't going to create something new again, to challenge us again, to encourage us to embrace change, to try something new, to think about things in a different way, to enforce the message that you should embrace WHO you are, to live your life how it pleases you, etc. Just to know he was amongst us, in some way, was an almost comforting thought. 'The world will be okay, David Bowie is still amongst us.' Simplified thought, but that's what it pretty much boiled down to. I think part of me remains in the state of shock I entered when I saw the news last year and the other part just doesn't want to process it. To sort of 'cope' I thought to myself, well Prince is still with us. We know that didn't work out well.

A lot of people don't understand people's emotional attachment to some artists, or how/why people whom you never met can have such an impact on your life. To the point you genuinely grieve and mourn. I can only speak for myself; but as an abused child I had no 'nice' adults in my life and my escapes were books, tv, and the radio. David Bowie taught me in 1973 that it didn't matter if a guy wore a dress or makeup. I liked his music, those things didn't matter. He was one of the few 'nice' adults I had in my life as a small child. And of course I continued being a fan onward.

Comments

[pronker]

[[hugs]]

Yeah, we do get attached and come to think of it, we spend more time with Favorite Celebrity than we do in the long run with relatives such as Aunt Charlotte from Des Moines who we see maybe three times in our lives.

[misstia]

You're right, we do spend more time with celebrities than relatives. ((hugs))

[cuddyclothes.livejournal.com]

I was also devastated when Bowie died. For a few weeks I watched his videos nonstop. ((hugs)) I"m not upset about it this year, but part of it is the absolute CASCADE of deaths after his.

[misstia]

I think I actually cried more last night over his death than last year. Perhaps my shock is wearing off? When Prince passed, I was a sobbing wreck that day, even though I was in shock there too.

A friend on twitter wrote the following recently:

"It turns out David Bowie's 'Black Star' was actually referencing the fact that his death would tear the veil and create a vacuum in 2016. We've lost so many expression/imagination empowered people in 2016. It feels like as Bowie's energy continues to burn out and collapse, it is drawing away so many other creative talents in acting and music...And I know logically that is not what is happening... But it FEELS like that. That's how my heart created order in the chaos and I can't seem to shake that feeling. However ridiculous it sounds."

I didn't think that sounded ridiculous.

[shortsweetcynic.livejournal.com]

i don't think so either. last year was devastating.

[misstia]

Last year was beyond brutal. I think it would have been easier to just die myself than to have pieces of my soul chipped away again and again.

[shortsweetcynic.livejournal.com]

I think I actually cried more last night over his death than last year. Perhaps my shock is wearing off?

when michael jackson died, it took me three days to have the time and space to give voice to my grief, and that grief was real. i loved him, i loved his music, his existence was and is permanently intertwined with my formative years, and while i'd never expected him to live to ripe old age...i certainly never expected him to go the way he did.

it still gets me, and it's been - what, six, seven years? when someone has that kind of impact on your life, i really believe there are days when it will be just as fresh as when the news first hit. and that's okay. <3

[misstia]

yeah bowie & prince were and are permanently intertwined with my formative years....

of course the grief was real! though i know some people thought how upset i was over prince was rather odd, but they didn't 'get it' and that's okay too....

it's truly as if they were a member of your family, or a very close friend....i remember when bowie passed so many people were posting they just assumed they he would immortal---it wasn't a joke either---he always had another worldliness about him....

you're absolutely right, when someone has a huge impact on your life, no matter how much time has passed, it'll just be like grief is for someone you know/love in real life---it'll come in waves, when you least expect, and sometimes like the first time it hit you....and really? we did love them in real life....we might not have 'known' them, but we knew their art, and that impacted us in different ways....

[deathstar461.livejournal.com]

it was a shock. mostly because he still looked so young for his age, and there was no public knowledge to the extent of his health problems. I guess he was one of those types who was so ubiquitous, it was easy to take him for granted.

[misstia]

i think there was a sense he was immortal....

[deathstar461.livejournal.com]

I didnt begin to fully appreciate Bowie until the 90s, when I heard Heart's FIlthy Lesson on the radio. Back in those days as 14 year old or so, everything made after 1991 was automatically not cool because that's the real of dad rock and mom music, and no kid that age thinks anything their parents listen to is cool. And of course there was Im Afraid of Americans, which was the first Bowie I purchessed, LP or EP. the first full length album I bought was either Outside or Lets Dance (or heathen or earthling), sometime in the early 00s, as I began to appreciate 80s music more. I wasnt until the the late 00s/early 10s that I became listening to and appreciating the full Bowie catalog in earnest.

[misstia]

gosh this comment has made me feel really really old!!! i've been a bowie fan since '73 when i was 4!

[kshandra]

Blessed Bowie and Saint Carrie the Fuckless are keeping me company today. pic.twitter.com/piKup8bsBA

— San Jose Left Shark (@kshandra) January 10, 2017

I'm in a FB group called Church of David Bowie, and we've been discussing the appropriate names for these days on our collective calendar. The 8th, of course, is Bowiemas, where we celebrate his birth. Some brilliant person coined Surazal for the 9th (Lazarus spelled backwards); some of us meditated on the transition between life and death, others went out in the world and performed random acts of kindness (one member paid for the person in line behind her at Tim Hortons, saying "Let me be your hero, just for one day" - and he got the reference immediately). Today is Blackstar. And the 11th, the day most of the world learned of his passing (save for those of us on the West Coast who hadn't gone to bed yet), is Bowascension, the day he became immortal. The feelings behind the discussion have all been surprisingly genuine, even as whimsical/blasphemous as the topic may seem to others. (I'm half-dreading what the devout Catholic in the cube next to me at work may say if she ever gets a close look at the candles...)

[misstia]

THAT.IS.GENIUS. ! You know, you are more than welcome to make a post about this here---it's still Bowie break the rules days thru today!! You could link to the FB group too. I'm no longer on FB but if I were, that'd be a group I'd join!!

"Let me be your hero, just for one day." So so perfect!! I am writing down---pen & paper the names of those days!! :D