Last Minute Desperation Christmas Gift Guide

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GUARANTEED A SMASH HIT.



( Hit the corner drugstore for some gifts! )

( Games, games, and- )

( -more games for the Floating Head Family! )

Paper dresses, always appropriate.


( Clothes! For people who do things! (actual slogan) )

( The Cat in the Hat says: )

( Matchy matchy matchy matchy. )

( No trees left? Get a NEW WONDER HOLIDAY TREE! )

Oranges for the stocking! (My mom still does this.)

Christmas Graphic, 1878

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This is just the cover!  Check out the other 29 pages!


from alida saxon on flickr

Ralphie, what would you like for Christmas?

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Horrified, I heard myself blurt it out! I want a

Ooooh!

No. You'll shoot your eye out.

Oh no! It was a classic mother, BB-gun block. "You'll shoot your eye out!" That deadly phrase honored many times by hundreds of mothers was not surmountable by any means known to Kid-dom, but such as my mania, my desire for a Red Ryder carbine, that I immediately began to rebuild the dike.

Heh, I was just kidding, even though Schwartz is getting one. I guess I'd just like some

I couldn't believe my own ears. Tinkertoys? She'd never buy it.

If this post has not made any sense, you obviously haven't seen this:

[Is that John O'Hurley doing the VO?]

What today's hipsters were wearing 20 years ago.

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Heavy bangs and retro headgear--not a bad start!



Askew cap is an acceptable alternative to a porkpie hat. Now hold that smirk until your ironic mustache comes in.


They still have clunky glasses, thrift store clothing, tats, Pabst Blue Ribbon, and keeping [INSERT HIPSTER-APPROVED CITY] weird to look forward to.

I love the dollhouse my Dad made for me, but I always wanted a whole neighborhood of dollhouses...

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I